Touching/physical contact is an absolutely vital component of seduction. You can’t successfully pick-up a girl without first establishing a basic level of mutual tactility – I.E. Before you can move in for the kill by kissing and/or sleeping with her, you MUST first have a regular, healthy amount of touching that works both ways: she flirtatiously puts her hand on your knee, you encircle her waist with your arm and pull her a little closer – whatever form the physical contact takes, it has to be present for you to achieve your final goal of actual seduction.
And that right there is where the problem for many men lies: how can a guy get the ball rolling when it comes to tactility and physical closeness? If the girl’s not being tactile, how can a guy develop mutual physical closeness without freaking her out or scaring her away?
Often men just “go for it” and consequently end up making the girl feel uncomfortable or even slightly violated because of their rushed attempt at physical closeness. Other men decide they don’t want to risk putting a girl off, so hold back any kind of touching or bodily contact – doing so usually sends out the wrong message, that the guy is either not interested in the girl, or that he’s simply too timid to show it, neither of which are attractive scenarios in the mind of a good-looking, fun-loving girl. Okay, so what’s the solution to this awkward problem?
Quite simply, you just need to follow a few basic rules or procedures, all of which conform to the personal boundaries of most girl (and therefore don’t appear uncalled for or rushed) but at the same time clearly indicate that you’re a confident guy who’s not afraid of getting to know girls and even showing it through casual, relaxed physical contact. So, let’s take a look.
1. Many men think that touching a girl in any way when they first meet them is an absolute no-no. But that’s simply not true. To form a positive, strong first impression and create an immediate bond with a girl when you first introduce yourself or get talking, casually and gently touch the outside of her right arm while at the same time verbally expressing something. The outside of a woman’s arm is not intimate enough a place for the touch to feel strange or out-of-place, but at the same time it’s a clear-cut sign that you’re a personable, socially adept kind of guy. Don’t be afraid to give it a try – you’ll notice the benefits immediately.
2. Once you’ve started a conversation with a girl, or when you randomly find yourself chatting to a woman you really like the look of, it’s important to keep up the physical contact. Doing so helps maintain the bond and rapport you’ve already created and also helps build it further, into mutually felt sexual attraction. You can use something called ‘Stealth Tactility’ to do this. Quite simply, stealth tactility involves making physical contact with the girl in a disguised way.
For example, if she wants to go to the bar or bathroom but doesn’t know the way, you can use stealth tactility by placing your hand on her shoulder, drawing her in a little closer, swivelling both of your bodies round until you face in the right direction, then point past other people or obstacles with your other hand to where she needs to go.
3. Lastly, always try to use a ‘contact close’ when you finish your conversation with a girl. For example, after swapping numbers or arranging to meet again, give her a kiss on the cheek or a hug and a kiss. Many men think that the hard work’s been done once something’s been arranged for a later date, but making physical contact before you part with a girl is always a great way of ensuring she remembers you and really cannot wait to see you again.
Tiffany Taylor is the female author of GuyGetsGirl, a special guide that reveals for the first time what goes on the minds of women AND how men can use special psychological and social techniques to attract and seduce them – regardless of their looks, bank balance or the car they drive.
How to Seduce a Woman Using ‘Deflection Theory’
There’s something that often happens when you’re out playing the ‘seduction game’ – that is, when you’re actively looking out for girls you think you’d like to hook-up with. Many men have experienced it, and many thousands of men still do experience it when they themselves are out playing the game. It usually goes something like this: you’re in a group, talking to a couple of girls.
You’re with a friend or two, perhaps having drinks in a bar or at a party. You’ve got your eye on one girl in the group in particular and want to make something happen, make a bit of a connection. Thing is, she’s proving the hardest to connect to – sure, she smiles and talks to you nicely and politely, but she’s not returning your flirtatious gestures and comments much, if at all. It’s like she’s playing hard to get or something, whereas her female friends seem to be much more playful and flirty.
This doesn’t happen because you aren’t her type or just because sometimes these things happen (or don’t) – there’s a different, special reason the girl you’re interested in doesn’t appear to be interested in you and it’s got a lot to do with psychology and social standing. You see, when you show you’re interested in a good-looking girl who’s with her friends, you inadvertently bump up her ego and feeling of self-worth. She knows you’ve chosen and are most interested in her and likes this feeling of elevated importance. However, she also knows that if she reacts by becoming really flirty and obviously attracted to YOU, she’ll lose the higher social value she has over her friends (probably the reason you targeted her in the first place), so she therefore maintains her unattainable, “I’m a bit too good for you” status.
However, you can blow this problem out of the water by using DEFLECTION THEORY. You turn the situation on its head and reverse the psychology of your target female by deflecting your attention AWAY from her and ONTO one or more of her friends. When you show her friends (who have lower social value/worth than your target female) more attention and affection, you challenge her ego.
So, in an effort to regain her superiority in the hierarchy of her circle of friends, the girl you’re really interested in will subconsciously invest much MORE interest in you by flirting and being playful. As so many women do, she gives into wanting what she feels she cannot have – and, of course, you’ll be happy to have her. She is, after all, the hottest of the group and the one you wanted in the first place. Here’s how to deflect your attention onto one of her friends to make her (the girl you want) feel as if her ego has been challenged and thus make her feel an instant and undeniable desire to get your attention and “win” you back.
- Use strong eye contact when talking to all of the girls. However, when you’re talking to your target female, occasionally glance away and towards one of the other girls (who will probably be talking amongst themselves or to your friend/friends if you’re with any) and give a slight smile before looking back at your target. This jackhammers a sense of competition into the subconscious mind of the girl you’re really interested in and immediately makes her want to fight for your attention.
- Casually make physical contact with her friends more than her. For example, touch them on the side of their arm to get their attention or when laughing and joking.
- When sitting down or standing around talking as a group, face slightly more (as in, the direction of your body/torso) in the direction of one of her friends more than her.
Using deflection theory to challenge a girl you’re interested in’s ego and therefore make her want you more is just one psychological technique you can use to boost your pick-up game. Combine it with others and you maximize your success with the opposite sex in ways most men have and never will experience. You can be the guy that gets the girl!